LBZ

Today I am flying to Long Beach for a trade show.  For some reason I am looking forward to it.  Too bad it will be raining for the next 3 days.  I could use some sun. 

Last night as I was drifting off to sleep I found myself in a very serene place.  It's strange.  I had this overwhelming feeling that things will be alright.  Actually, it was more than that.  I was suddenly acutely aware of how good my life is and will be.  This is a pretty drastic change from where my mind set has been and I am not really sure what caused the change.

A friend and I were talking about this whole situation and I was explaining how I set myself up for it by ignoring all the signs of trouble and investing myself 100% into a relationship that was not quite 100%.  He told me that really, I was the lucky one.  I only lost someone that I loved but they had lost that love for me so really I was not losing much.  Conversely, that person lost someone who was unequivocally, unabashedly, and unquestionably in love with them.  That may be harder to lose.

I don't know if I agree with that, but it is an interesting way of looking at the picture.  Is the purpose of love the gift of love or the reception of that love?  Or is it the reciprocal nature that binds the two people?  I think it is less clear cut than that.  Indeed, there are moments of purity, but life is no fairy tale, and just like anything else, you need to work for those moments of bliss.  Like eating right or exercising daily, I believe that love takes constant upkeep and one of the easiest mistakes to make is to take it for granted.  I am definitely guilty of this.  But what if the land is allowed to lie fallow?  Does it rejuvenate and produce the same crop?  Is it better to move on to a new piece of earth and see what the change brings?  Don't look back and just keep living?  I think I am mixing too many analogies.