I have to keep reminding myself it is over. It seems like whenever i let my guard down, the hope comes creeping back in.
Also, the weather is shit and that makes me a little less happy. I don't know. Today is just hard. I guess it's a case of two steps forward, one step back. It just feels like a long step back. It doesn't help that the woman I am trying to forget is not sure that we are finished as well. I really want to just ignore that but it is hard. There is so much that makes love like our rare that I don't feel right throwing it all away. But that is not my decision. I feel like I have to approach this as a death. Morbid, I know, but if I don't accept the finality of it, I will never be happy. I know I can move on. I truly can. I will.
So here we go. day by day. I think it's actually the two week point right now. Seems like it has been months. But slowly the deep ache is receding and it gives me hope. And who knows what the future holds.
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